one time my dad tripped over some ice and was like ‘this is JUST like the titanic’
is this the same dad that once called you dad
no, that was a different dad. i have thousands of dads that ive synthesised in my home lab in the basement. speaking of that, the three armed one just got out again god damnit
My brother decided to use my bathroom and that was fine, but five minutes later I hear singing and he’s singing to the tune of “What’s This” for the Nightmare Before Christmas about various products I keep in the bathroom.
“What’s this, what’s this?
There’s products everywhere.
I think it goes in hair.”
- other country: wow we solved drug crimes by doing this and the problem is practically completely resolved
- america: there is just no stopping the war on drugs........
- other country: we have the most successful schools because we implement these rules to encourage real learning
- america: no hope....... kids just cant cut it anymore........
- other country: gun related crime is all but non existent thanks to our restrictions
- america: wow..... if only there was some way to stop these shootings before they happened..............
- other country: nothing bad has happened as a result of our equal marriage/bathroom laws for lgbt
- america: if only there was a way.............................
THOSE LITTLE MOMENTS IN BOOKS WHEN THEY ACTUALLY MAKE YOU FEEL SOMETHING, LIKE YOU SMILE OR KINDA GET SAD AND JUST REALLY FORGET YOURE READING SOMETHING MY FAVOURITE
You know what?
You forgot someone very important
Dog: Oh you got new owner!
Cat: Yeah. She picked me up from the pound yesterday
Dog: She is so cute! What did you name her?
wow over the hedge fandom long time no see
THERE’S TIMES WHEN I WANT A RUSTIC CABIN IN THE WOODS AWAY FROM ALL SOCIETY
THEN THERE’S TIMES WHEN I WANT A MODERN ASS HOUSE
THEN I’M LIKE I’LL ACCEPT NOTHING MORE THAN A VICTORIAN MANOR
THEN I WANT A PENTHOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF NEW YORK
THEN I WANT ONE OF THOSE HOUSE MADE OUT SHIPPING CONTAINERS
THEN I WANT A FRENCH CHATEAU
BUT I ALSO WANT A TREE HOUSE
AND A LITTLE COTTAGE ON THE OCEAN
HOUSES ARE SO COOL